As much as i have nothing against my service right now(as mentioned in the previous post), I strongly believe that this is not the place that I really should be wasting my effort in.
Which brings me to the fact that I really should have studied harder back then. Mom and Dad always tell you that you should study hard else you will regret, but Mom and Dad doesn’t tell you why. So I will tell you why.
It sucks to see people, your friends to be exact, all being so far infront of you. It might not seem like much but trust me, nobody likes to be left behind. You can never stay on topic, since you are basically living in a different world from them. They have things you don’t. They can do things you can’t do. And it really doesn’t help you much when one of your friend is a pure dick and loves to diss you regarding your progress in life once in awhile(but being the easy-going guy that I am, i take it in my strides la)
It sucks too, when your current ‘work-mates’ are those you can’t really communicate well with, since there is a age gap. I consider myself lucky to be able to make friends with anybody, but still, sometimes when you are thrown the babysitter role either because ppl see you as being older, or you yourself think that as a older dude you should be responsible… it kinda gets really tiring.
I blame myself for being the kinda guy who would jump infront of a stranger’s path just to save him/her from an incoming car. tmd.
And of course, it sucks when it comes to ppl of the opposite sex. of course the following things im gona say may sound very biased and inaccurate, seeing as I only have a handful of female friends to interact with, but from my impression, i noticed that as people grow older, gone are the days where you think that love is everything. Like, REALLY EVERYTHING, including food.
Of course, I understand fully why this is so and i definitely support this kinda thinking, cause I cannot stand the former. But maybe it’s just our society, i feel that some people can really overdo it., like really everything is about material possessions.
You don’t have this? haha fail. *big cross*
You don’t have that? fail again. *big cross*
You are a failure in life? fuck off please.
Maybe I am just thinking too much but yeah that’s just what I observe. and I’m not really the only one, seeing as long long ago when overseas brides were still popular, many men also voiced out the same thing as to why they prefer overseas girls than local ones.
(yeah yeah, i noe right now all those feminist or whatevas will be up in arms saying things like ‘guys are superficial too!!!’ and shits but yeah, indulge me can? Anyway, I focus mainly on the fact that as people grow up they become more ‘realistic’ about things. which isn’t really a bad thing unless you overdo it. And the fact that I cannot be up to standard compared to others is really a very sucky feel. even though ppl always say it is bad to compare.)
Bottomline is, it really sucks hard to be lagging and everything around you just feels super not right, like you don’t belong anywhere..
But as much as i whine and bitch about all these, at the end of the day I know I still need to do it, and i’ll still give it my all, even though I know it’s not really gona bring me anywhere. That’s just how i roll. period.
I’ve decided though, i’ll curb all these negative feelings inside me and convert it into super powerful hardcore energy to use when i start work later in life.
I am prepared to cut off all social contact with people just to catch up. I know it’s very unhealthy to do something like that, but sometimes, in life you really don’t get a 2nd chance when you’ve taken a wrong step before.
Slack now, suffer later. Cause and effect. That’s how it is.
We all strive to be accepted.